D-day minus 4 mths

that's what emma looked like when i was about 5 mths pregs (i think?!)

i didnt use to be able to make out where the head or buttock was, but after a couple of scans, u kinda get it! its like those 3D image thingys - u just keep staring at it and it suddenly hits u hee hee

(for those who still cant make it out, the head's on the right side of the photo lah)

anyway i decided to upload this here in case i lose the printed copy - at least i still have some memories of her fetal days :)

actually it was more because we just bought a new scanner n i wanted to test it out - heh heh

she's got two!

that's the top view of emma's head , in case you hvnt figured out the artistic angle yet ;)

i have no idea what they're called in english, but in hokkien, she has 2 "zng". according to old folks, that means she's gonna be real naughty!

i dunno if its true, but ethan has 2 as well but he really isnt that difficult to manage. but with this girl, i wont be surprised if it holds true cos she's already showing potential, eg wants to be carried all the time, impatient, doesnt like to lie in her cot by herself, etc... and they said girls would be easier to bring up.. hah!

'man yue'

happy full month emma!

we celebrated emma's 'man yue' yesterday - no, we didnt have that small gathering with friends in the end (cos some couldnt make it) so we went out for a meal instead. had a lovely italian dinner at donnini's in lygon st (with her 3rd uncle too who happened to be in town for a biz trip). i cant believe how quickly time has flown... emma has proven to be a really intelligent girl even at just 1 mth of age and i cant wait to get to know her better!

it's really coincidental that yesterday was australia day too. just in case i havent mentioned, emma is a true-blue aussie girl - made and born here ;) she's the first australian citizen in the Han family! cant wait to apply for her aussie passport :D

anyway we introduced the pacifier to emma couple of days back as we couldnt stand the constant waking/whining in the nights. i thought that would be our salvation, but who knew!? it seems she cant stand the pacifier! whenever i put it into her mouth, her face scrunches up even more n she seems really upset that there's this foreign thing in her mouth. so instead of pacifying her, it makes her even more irritable... so how?! i think i'll try for another few days and see how it goes. n i was so confident that the pacifier would be THE solution to a good nite's sleep for us :| see? never be too complacent. i've learned my lesson...

another thing about emma. u know how they say when babies are hungry they'll cry for milk? this girl NEVER cries when she's hungry- she grunts! i dont know how else to describe the sound she makes, but when she grunts, i'll know she's hungry and i'll just pick her up to feed her. took me a while to figure out her 'code' actually but i'm glad i managed to decipher it!

thanks girls :)

4 of my lovely ex-colleagues from UOB sent emma a beautiful baby gift set - all the way from singapore! i especially love the little pink shoes :D


a million thanks girls :) cant wait for you gals to meet emma!

anyway we just came back from visiting the maternal/child health nurse. emma is 4.3kg so her weight gain is on track! i'm so relieved cos this means that she's latching on well n getting enough milk ;)

can't wait for this saturday. cos it means emma wil be exactly 1 mth old, plus... my confinement will finally be over! woo hoo!!!

Breastfeeding Day Stay

emma and I went for our breastfeeding day stay program yesterday at the hospital. yes, they do actually conduct day programs for mothers experiencing difficulties with breastfeeding (see? it's not as easy as it looks otherwise why would these classes always be filled up and you have to book in advance?). the support for BFing mothers here is really amazing... spore hospitals could definitely learn from them :|

anyway, it wasnt even our 1st visit. it was already our 3rd. and i'm glad to say that emma has at least learned to latch on for milk now. altho she isnt very efficient yet, but she's getting there :)

THE FIRE PIG 2007

"Active, outgoing and extroverted, Fire Pigs breathe new life into everything they do. These Pigs are vivid, motivated individuals who cannot be deterred from a goal once they have set it. They are emotional and passionate about their loved ones, their occupations and their objectives. They are bold and vivacious, unafraid to take risks despite the consequences. They make great bosses because they do work so hard and because they are so spirited. But don’t doublecross a Fire Pig. They have the ability to be quite abrasive when things don’t turn out as they planned."

oops... i'm beginning to see these traits in emma already... *shudder*

almost a month

the days sure have passed by more quickly with emma!

i cant believe she'll already be 1 mth old next sat, and we've planned a small little gathering to celebrate her "man3 yue4". and i mean really small, cos most of our relatives are in spore, so we'll just be inviting some closer friends over to our place for a simple dinner :)

how it started

so why did we intro the bottle this time? some of you may remember, 2 yrs ago, with ethan, we introduced the bottle when he was only a day old cos THAT silly nurse at gleneagles hospital was not pro-breastfeeding at all and actually ENCOURAGED me to give the bottle cos she said the bb was too hungry. so all that went downhill from there.

but with emma, everyone at the hospital was extremely pro-BFing. so how did we end up with the same problem? well basically emma was having a fever and during her first nite, the midwife had advised us to give formula because we had to keep emma hydrated in order to keep the temperature down. so u see, this time around, we didnt really have much of a say because it was a medical condition. so that's that.

anyway i'm still trying...

why oh why?!!

why does this always happen to me?! i'm not a bad person, i've always been nice to others and kind at heart. so then why am i struggling with breastfeeding BOTH times? first with ethan, and now with emma too.. is it cos they are so alike in temperament?

it's extremely frustrating and at times i really just feel like giving up altogether and just give her the bottle. but at other times, i'm stubborn n refuse to give in cos this is a battle i dont wanna lose. i've been thro it once and i really dont want to have to live thro that again.

it never gets any easier...

back to basics

i feel like i've travelled back in time.. to the year 2006 and the mth september. its not so much the interrupted sleep, but guessing what the baby wants. when emma cries, the check list is pretty much the same as what we went thro with ethan:

1. is she hungry?
2. is her diaper dirty?
3. does she have wind in her tummy?
4. is she too cold? too hot?
5. does she just want to be cuddled?
6. is she having a fever?

if none of the above pacifies the baby, then we hv to run thro the list right from the top again. somewhere along the way, something will click and then it's peace again...aaaaaah.....

i really cant stand this guessing game. why cant babies just come with a lcd display on their forehead that tells us what it is they need?!? i miss my tamagotchi :(

2 weeks

we brought emma to see the maternal and child health nurse this morning for her 2-wk review. has it been 2 wks? somehow time seems to fly by more quickly with this 2nd baby, as compared to when i had ethan, where i couldnt even tell night from day as it was just neverending!

anyway we're really glad emma has regained her birth weight - she is 3750gm! she's still slightly jaundiced (wonder why it's taking so long to clear) but no cause for concern as the readings are still within the acceptable range. her umbilical cord fell off today too (well i shouldn't say 'fell off' cos it was actually the nurse who yanked it off - she claimed it was dangling by a 'fibre' only - thk god! - so emma didnt flinch when the nurse did that)

overall, emma's more alert these days so it's a gd sign. i'm still waiting for the magic moment to happen when something in her mind goes 'click' and she'll latch on like perfectly and we'll finally have our 'kodak moment', ie like in those breastfeeding brochures where both mom n bub look absolutely contented :|

"gor gor" n "mei mei"

i just HAD to go look thro the old photos and search for one where ethan's the same age as emma currently is.

do u see any similarities? apart from the nose (which is obviously mine *sigh*) and head full of hair, i can't see anything else that's similar!

action!

finally captured emma in action :) she's a bit more alert these days, so i'm really happy about that!

my best friend these days

yup. it's the medela pump in style.

each time we meet (which is like 8 times in 24 hrs), u can be sure it's always a 'stimulating' session.

i just dont know what i'd do without her... :P

anyway the thing with emma is, she's just basically a sleepy newborn - right up till today. i have to wake her every 3 hrs for feeds, and when i do, i'll try her at the breast first. 3 things can happen:
1. she'll continue sleeping, and so refuses to open her mouth.
2. she'll oblige n open her mouth n latch on, give a couple of half-hearted sucks, then promptly fall asleep again. she wont even swallow when there's milk in her mouth - she just lets it dribble out onto her clothes (aaaargh!)
3. she'll cry in protest ("why'd u have to go n interrupt my sleep?!?"), fight at the breast for a while, and then pt 2 above repeats.

so we really have no choice but to 'force feed' her with the bottle as:
1. she's slightly jaundiced so we gotta keep her hydrated (dr's orders!)
2. she cannot chuck the teat out of her mouth
3. it's easier to shove something hard like the teat into her mouth when she's got her lips tightly sealed

some days she does really well with the bottle, and finishes everything we put in it. others? well, she just lets the milk dribble out too, refusing to swallow.

there really isnt much we can do now. we're just hoping she wakes up n becomes more alert in a week or 2. right now, she's behaving just like a preemie.... zzzzzzzzzzzz

i guess i shdnt be complaining. i shd just enjoy the peace n quiet while it lasts huh? but i cant. i just want a baby who will wake up screaming n crying when she's hungry!

dejavu

it feels like i'm breastfeeding ethan all over again.. emma fights when i try to latch her on, and only drinks from the bottle now. i sure hope i dont have to go thro another 7 mths of expressing milk for this girl! pls... give me the patience to continue trying, and that emma will get the hang of it soon!

Boxing Day Surprise

right... i've finally got some of my life back in order so here's my really exciting birth story with Emma Han :)

25 Dec
Yup! Christmas Day! But no.... Emma didnt come out on xmas day. she wanted to go for the boxing day sales instead! anyway i digress...

7.30pm
was in the loo taking a s***. suddenly felt a trickle of water leaking out.. strange cos i'd definitely know if i was peeing, right? and at that time, i wasn't! started to get a little suspicious but didnt tell the hubby anything yet cos wanted to be sure.

8pm
sat down for dinner with hubby. still felt water trickling out, altho not a lot. went to change a sanitary pad and realised the liquid had a tinge of pink. at this pt, i was quite certain my waters had broken. so told hubby n he lost all appetite for dinner :P

8pm-9.15pm
frantically running around the house trying to pack hospital bag, get ethan's stuff (cos he had to go along with us too as inlaws were out of town for that day), take a quick shower, get organised, ie call the hospital n ask what i should do... hopped into the car n zoomed off to the hospital!

9.30pm
arrived at werribee mercy hospital's emergency dept. was wheeled to the childbirth unit immediately.

9.45pm-12am
attended to by midwife. i was lucky to have met her cos she's really professional and i felt safe with her. after a couple of checks and questions, she informed me that i'd have to be induced that nite as my water had broken, but i wasnt feeling any contractions, yet they were afraid baby would be at risk of infection if we waited too long for the natural contractions to start.


26 Dec

12am
administered drip to induce contractions.

12am - 5.58am
i have absoulutely no idea what happened during these 6 hrs as i was feeling high from the nitrous oxide and pethadine injection. i just remember wishing someone would kill me n put me out of my misery! i took at least a half hour to push emma out

5.58am
emma han finally decided to pop out and hubby cut the umbilical cord (yes, i was still conscious so i remembered stuff in snippets) and the midwife asked if i wanted to take a look at the placenta, which i did. i think it looked like a big chunk of fresh red meat that i see at the markets on weekend. hmm.. interesting. hubby of course, was not in the least bit interested ;)

5.58am-9am
lay in bed cuddling little emma as i waited for the OB to come stitch me up (the midwife had managed the entire delivery process but she just couldnt do the stitching for me). imagine having to wait for 3 hrs for the stitches to be done! by then, all the pain relief i'd had fr the labour was gone, and i was put thro another agonising (and certainly unnecessary) 10 min of sheer hell as the fat-asss OB stitched me up. (i'm certainly gonna pursue this matter)

so that's how we spent our xmas last yr. exciting isnt it? incidentally, some of you might remember that we had our wedding dinner on 26 Dec in 2004. talk about coincidences. and i was just joking with the hubby on xmas day (b4 my water broke) that it would be so weird if emma decided to come out on our wedding dinner anniversary. geez.... wat are the odds!

Emma Han HuiShi
DOB: 26 Dec 2007
Time of Birth: 5.58am
Duration of Gestation: 36.6 wks
Mode of Delivery: Natural
Weight at Birth: 3.71kg
Length at Birth: 52cm
Head Circumference: 36cm

welcome to the world, my little princess *hugs & kisses*