Breastfeeding Day Stay

emma and I went for our breastfeeding day stay program yesterday at the hospital. yes, they do actually conduct day programs for mothers experiencing difficulties with breastfeeding (see? it's not as easy as it looks otherwise why would these classes always be filled up and you have to book in advance?). the support for BFing mothers here is really amazing... spore hospitals could definitely learn from them :|

anyway, it wasnt even our 1st visit. it was already our 3rd. and i'm glad to say that emma has at least learned to latch on for milk now. altho she isnt very efficient yet, but she's getting there :)

how it started

so why did we intro the bottle this time? some of you may remember, 2 yrs ago, with ethan, we introduced the bottle when he was only a day old cos THAT silly nurse at gleneagles hospital was not pro-breastfeeding at all and actually ENCOURAGED me to give the bottle cos she said the bb was too hungry. so all that went downhill from there.

but with emma, everyone at the hospital was extremely pro-BFing. so how did we end up with the same problem? well basically emma was having a fever and during her first nite, the midwife had advised us to give formula because we had to keep emma hydrated in order to keep the temperature down. so u see, this time around, we didnt really have much of a say because it was a medical condition. so that's that.

anyway i'm still trying...

why oh why?!!

why does this always happen to me?! i'm not a bad person, i've always been nice to others and kind at heart. so then why am i struggling with breastfeeding BOTH times? first with ethan, and now with emma too.. is it cos they are so alike in temperament?

it's extremely frustrating and at times i really just feel like giving up altogether and just give her the bottle. but at other times, i'm stubborn n refuse to give in cos this is a battle i dont wanna lose. i've been thro it once and i really dont want to have to live thro that again.

it never gets any easier...

my best friend these days

yup. it's the medela pump in style.

each time we meet (which is like 8 times in 24 hrs), u can be sure it's always a 'stimulating' session.

i just dont know what i'd do without her... :P

anyway the thing with emma is, she's just basically a sleepy newborn - right up till today. i have to wake her every 3 hrs for feeds, and when i do, i'll try her at the breast first. 3 things can happen:
1. she'll continue sleeping, and so refuses to open her mouth.
2. she'll oblige n open her mouth n latch on, give a couple of half-hearted sucks, then promptly fall asleep again. she wont even swallow when there's milk in her mouth - she just lets it dribble out onto her clothes (aaaargh!)
3. she'll cry in protest ("why'd u have to go n interrupt my sleep?!?"), fight at the breast for a while, and then pt 2 above repeats.

so we really have no choice but to 'force feed' her with the bottle as:
1. she's slightly jaundiced so we gotta keep her hydrated (dr's orders!)
2. she cannot chuck the teat out of her mouth
3. it's easier to shove something hard like the teat into her mouth when she's got her lips tightly sealed

some days she does really well with the bottle, and finishes everything we put in it. others? well, she just lets the milk dribble out too, refusing to swallow.

there really isnt much we can do now. we're just hoping she wakes up n becomes more alert in a week or 2. right now, she's behaving just like a preemie.... zzzzzzzzzzzz

i guess i shdnt be complaining. i shd just enjoy the peace n quiet while it lasts huh? but i cant. i just want a baby who will wake up screaming n crying when she's hungry!

dejavu

it feels like i'm breastfeeding ethan all over again.. emma fights when i try to latch her on, and only drinks from the bottle now. i sure hope i dont have to go thro another 7 mths of expressing milk for this girl! pls... give me the patience to continue trying, and that emma will get the hang of it soon!